Yesterday we did TV dads, so to keep things equal, today we're doing TV moms. I mean, I don't want Florence Henderson knocking on my door, wondering where the respect is. Know what I mean?

Without further adieu (because I sense the Bunker girls' first real fight brewing -- over a little toy with a bell on it), here's this week's question:

Which TV mom would you most like to be? And which one are you most like (if they aren't the same people ...)?

Barb: Please don't laugh, but I have always admired June Cleaver (Barbara Billingsley) on "Leave it to Beaver." I would love to be the mom who makes a large, sit down breakfast daily while wearing a perfectly pressed dress and matching accessories. She was always cheerful, although I often wondered if she was sneaking a little from Ward's mini bar. The woman could do it all, even speak jive (Google Airplane!). Unfortunately, I am most like Debra Barone (Patricia Heaton) on "Everybody Loves Raymond." Like Debra, I cannot cook, which explains why the girls have cereal every morning. I also have rambunctious children and a sports-nut husband, who make me lose it every now and then. The only piece that my life does not emulate is the parents across the street. Although, my mother keeps threatening to buy a little condo near her grandchildren. Please help me!

{ed note: By the way, I did Google BB, and I discovered that the woman is still jive-talkin' at 92 years old! Wow. B-squared also shares my birthday, so she must be totally cool.}

Janice:OK this one is hard. Sadly I watch too much Law and Order/CSI/etc. and the mothers on these shows are not ones I want to be. So I thought further..... and did some research.....

Am I Lois from Malcolm in the Middle? "Lois, played by Jane Kaczmarek, is described as a hard-nosed, manipulative and slightly crazy mother and something of an embarrassment to her five kids and devoted husband, Hal." Well, the slightly crazy fits. I do have a devoted husband, but I am afraid that I do embarrass him by talking to everyone in Target. So I guess it is a good thing that I only have one kid as I would most certainly morph into Lois with 5 kids!

Am I Debra from Everybody Loves Raymond? "As a housewife, Debra is frequently stressed out because she not only has to deal with all the housework and her three rambunctious children (without much assistance from Ray), but also Ray's obnoxious, intrusive family members, whom she often complains about. Debra tends to hold back her feelings and usually only after Ray does something she lets loose by having tantrums and completely losing control of herself." Hmmmmmm..... I am frequently stressed out and I did throw a Kleenex box once in a tantrum...... not my finest hour.

Am I Lorelai Gilmore from the Gilmore Girls? "Lorelai is a highly talkative, free-spirited woman, a child of the eighties and part of the MTV generation. Lorelai is a self-proclaimed caffeine addict and possesses no cooking skills; when not eating leftover takeout or junk food, she frequents Luke's diner. Lorelai is innately humorous and has a witty remark for every situation, often with a pop culture reference." Hmmmmmm..... I am highly talkative, free-sprited (I want to think so), caffeine addict, but I do love to cook.......

Can I be a mix up of all three? I want to have the close, wonderful, best friend relationship with my daughter like Lorelai, I do want the same plastic surgeon that Debra has and I do want to be able to voice my opinion as well as Lois.

Thanks to Wiki for my definitions. {Wiki: "You're welcome, Janice. Come back and see us anytime."}

Becky: Ok, this is one of those inkblot questions, right? I hope I'm not like the moms on the shows I watch. "Sex and the City" (yes, I usually just watch TV when it's out on DVD). Miranda? Nope. Then there's "Absolutely Fabulous"--Edina? No thanks, sweetie dahling. "Lost" -- Claire? Hmmm, maybe I can take the best points of all these moms? Yeah, I could do that, plus mix in a little Diane Keaton from "Something's Gotta Give."

Lisa: The TV mom I would most like to be is Lorelai Gilmore: stylish, independent and able to eat massive quantities of junk food with no consequences. Plus, she raised an ultra-brilliant child who swung a free ride to an Ivy - college is really, really expensive.

As for who I am actually like, I think I'm most like Marge Simpson, with a side order of Prof. Frink. Marge is resourceful, resilient and constantly reinvents herself - I've had eight jobs and moved nine times since grad school. Marge also subscribes to Fretful Mother Magazine - your source for the frightening descriptions of the latest child-maiming products. (In the non-cartoon world, we have Parents magazine to get that job done.)


Beth: Well, let's see. This is pretty difficult. I wish I would think more about these questions before I ask them. If I could be any TV mom, I'd definitely pick Tami Taylor from "Friday Night Lights." Remember Connie Britton from "Spin City"? Who would have thunk that she could portray the woman she plays on FNL: Sassy, confident-but-vulnerable, patient enough to join a book club with wives of high school football booster club members just to support her husband, successfully back in the workplace after raising her oldest daughter, tough when she needs to be, tender when she needs to be. I just love her character. I don't think I've ever heard her nag. I wouldn't even mind living in small-town west Texas (I think it's west Texas). I kind of like Texas. On the other hand, I've never seen a Target on the show, so I probably wouldn't survive long.

But I'm probably mostly a mix of Debra Barone and Edith Bunker. Let's face it: Sometimes I'm a little loopy and whiny like Edith, and Debra never has her house perfectly clean (though it still looks cleaner than mine does) and has a bit of trouble in the kitchen. At the same time, she doesn't let Ray by with much ... and I think unfortunately I'm the quintessential nag.

That being said, later in life, I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up like this woman ...





... (that's Grandma from "Friday Night Lights") wandering around accusing people of eating all her SnackWells and polishing off her pudding. "You know I like to have a little puddin' before bedtime. It settles my stomach."

Though I doubt I'll take the time to put my hair in curlers.